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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26609059">I don't want to be here (he's saying the words that he promised he would never say)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/UniverseInk/pseuds/UniverseInk'>UniverseInk</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Bad Things Happen Bingo [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman - All Media Types, DCU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Parent Jack Drake, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Batfamily (DCU), Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Don't copy to another site, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jack Drake is a bastard, Trans Tim Drake, can't believe i almost forgot that tag, full list of tws in notes, getting kicked out, homophobia and transphobia, mentioned birdflash, mentioned trans Dick Grayson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:47:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,630</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26609059</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/UniverseInk/pseuds/UniverseInk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tim's dad reads his texts to his boyfriend, Kon. He's angry, but that's okay, Tim can handle it. He'll apologize for keeping his relationship a secret, and his dad will yell a little, but then it'll be over. It'll be fine.</p><p>It's not fine</p><p>Bad Things Happen Bingo: Disowned by family</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tim Drake &amp; Bruce Wayne, background TimKon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Bad Things Happen Bingo [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1914772</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>552</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I don't want to be here (he's saying the words that he promised he would never say)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TWs: Homophobia and transphobia from a parent, f slur, emotional/verbal abuse, minor physical abuse, a character getting kicked out for being queer. This fic also shows Tim's internal processing of his dad's emotions during an instance of abuse, which may be triggering</p><p>This was suggested by an anon on tumblr, who requested this prompt with Tim and Bruce</p><p>Title from I Exist I Exist I Exist by Flatsound</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tim only left his room for about five minutes. He just had to go to the bathroom. He didn’t think anything life changing would happen while he was gone.</p><p>His dad is in his room when he gets back. He’s standing over the desk, Tim’s phone in hand. Tim freezes in the doorway. Before he left the room, he’d been texting Kon. And yeah, he isn’t supposed to be talking to anyone in the vigilante business, but surely his dad can’t tell just from the messages that Kon is Superboy. It’s fine.</p><p>“Dad?” he asks hesitantly. “What’s up?”</p><p>“Who’s Conner?” Jack asks, not looking up from the phone. He’s angry. Tim can tell from his voice, he’s angry and he’s trying not to show it yet. </p><p>“He’s a friend of mine.” Tim doesn’t move any further into the room, just stays in the doorway.</p><p>“<em>Just</em> a friend?”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Tim’s starting to think this isn’t about vigilante stuff. Maybe he’s mad Tim didn’t tell him he was dating someone? That would be fine, Tim can handle that. </p><p>Jack crosses the room in three strides, holding the phone out. Tim takes it from him, cradling it carefully in his hands without looking away from his father’s face.</p><p>“Read it,” Jack barks.</p><p>Tim’s eyes flick down to the screen. The message is from a few hours ago, one his dad would’ve had to scroll up to find.</p><p>“Hey babe,” he reads, voice carefully flat. “How’s my wonderful boyfriend doing today?” So this <em>is</em> about him dating Kon. He looks back up at his dad.</p><p>“Care to explain?” To anyone else, Jack Drake’s face would be unreadable. But Tim was Robin, and his dad’s poker face has nothing on Batman’s. He can read him like an open book.</p><p>He’s <em>furious</em>.</p><p>“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Tim starts. It’s best to open with an apology, so his dad doesn’t think he’s talking back or getting defensive. “There’s been so much going on, I didn’t know how to bring it up. But I promise I wasn’t hiding it on purpose.” That’s not <em>entirely</em> a lie.</p><p>“<em>Damnit Tim</em>,” Jack roars. He throws an arm out, sweeping Tim’s phone out of his hand and knocking it against the wall. </p><p>Tim falls still. He wants to check if his phone is broken, but he knows better than to walk away when his dad is this upset. </p><p>“This isn’t about you <em>keeping secrets</em>.” </p><p>Jack’s building into a tirade, but Tim is lost. He just has to ride it out until his dad tells him what <em>exactly</em> the problem here is. </p><p>He doesn’t have to wait long.</p><p>“What the hell was the point of becoming a boy if you were just going to turn around become a <em>faggot</em>.”</p><p>The world tilts on its axis. Tim staggers back, throwing out a hand to catch himself on the door frame. He can’t breathe. His dad said he was okay with Tim being trans. Yeah, he didn’t really understand, but he <em>accepted it</em>. </p><p>Except he didn’t. He <em>lied</em>. And Tim was stupid enough to fall for it.</p><p>“What?” The word is hardly more than a gasp. </p><p>“<em>God</em>, are you fucking stupid?” Jack grabs the front of Tim’s shirt and drags him into the room, throwing him toward his bed. Tim’s back hits the side of the mattress and he slides to the floor. He stays down.</p><p>Jack stalks over to the closet and yanks the door open. He grabs the suitcase off the top shelf and throws it onto the bed. Tim flinches as it passes over his head. Jack storms out of the room, pausing in the doorway.</p><p>“You have thirty minutes to pack your shit and get out of my house.” The door slams like a gunshot. </p><p>Tim stays there on the floor for a minute. As soon as he can gather the strength, he’ll crawl over to his phone and check the damage. Then he’ll pack the essentials and leave out the window of the ground floor bathroom, just to be sure he doesn’t see his dad again. He’ll walk to Wayne Manor, maybe text ahead if his phone survived. It’s not much of a plan, but it’s what he’s got.</p><p>He’ll get started as soon as the ground is done falling out from under him.</p><p> </p><p>Tim knocks on the door. His phone <em>hadn’t</em> survived, the screen doing little more than flickering when he clicked the unlock button, so no one knows he’s coming. He hopes Bruce isn’t out on patrol yet. After a minute, Alfred opens the door. </p><p>“Master Timothy?” he asks, a slight furrow in his brow.</p><p>“Hey Alfred,” Tim says. “Can I come in?”</p><p>Alfred looks him over, taking in the redness of his eyes and the suitcase by his feet. “Of course,” he says. “You are always welcome here.” </p><p>“Thanks.” Tim stops in the foyer to kick off his shoes. Alfred gently takes the suitcase from his hand.</p><p>“I’ll bring this to your room,” he says. “Master Bruce and Miss Stephanie are downstairs. If you hurry, you should be able to catch them before they leave for the night.”</p><p>Tim manages a slight smile. “Thank you.”</p><p>Alfred gives a small bow. “If you need anything else, please do not hesitate to come find me, even if you believe it is of little importance.”</p><p>Tim nods. He probably won’t do that. Alfred’s brand of comfort is distraction, dragging the people he cares about out of their own heads by having them help with housework. Usually Tim loves it, but right now he needs a different kind of comfort.</p><p>Maybe he can call Dick later.</p><p>For now, Tim heads down to the Batcave. Bruce isn’t as affectionate as his oldest, but he’s good to talk to. </p><p> </p><p>When Tim steps off the elevator, Bruce and Steph are already suited up. They’re studying something on the Batcomputer, their backs to Tim. They must know he’s there, the Bats’ situational awareness is second to none. </p><p>“Hey,” Tim says. He hovers by the elevator, arms wrapped around his stomach. They whirl around.</p><p>“Tim!” Steph yells, grinning. She runs over and slings an arm around his neck, giving him an affectionate noogie. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>“Hey Steph.” Tim flashes the best smile he can manage. “I, uh… I need to talk to Bruce?” </p><p>“Of course.” Bruce pulls off his cowl and gestures for Tim to join him over by the monitors. “Stephanie, could you go prep the Batmobile and let Oracle know we might be getting a delayed start?”</p><p>Steph glances at Tim, as if looking for permission. He nods, and she ruffles his hair. “Fine, but you better let me drive!” She darts off, laughing.</p><p>“Not until you have your license!” Bruce calls after her. He shakes his head, sighing. “I swear, that girl is determined to test my patience.”</p><p>Tim laughs quietly, perching on the edge of a table. “You know you’re secretly proud of her.”</p><p>Bruce hums noncommittally, but his lip twitches like he’s holding back a smile. He drags the rolling chair over and sits in front of Tim. </p><p>“So,” he says, “you wanted to talk to me?”</p><p>Tim nods, looking down at his hands. The little bit of good mood Steph’s antics had brought him fades as he picked at his nails. Bruce isn’t going to be angry. Well, he actually probably <em>will </em>be angry, but not at Tim. After all, Dick’s trans, and Bruce has no problem with him dating Wally. So it’s fine. Tim <em>knows</em> it’s going to be fine. </p><p>He just needs to find the words.</p><p>Bruce reaches out and gently rests his hand on Tim’s knee. “Did something happen with your dad?” he asks. He’s using his comforting-a-scared-victim voice. Tim doesn’t want to think about that.</p><p>“Yeah,” he says. </p><p>“Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Bruce assures him.</p><p>Tim nods. “He read some of my texts from Kon.” He speaks quietly, like he’ll scare the words back down his throat if he tries to say them too loudly. “He knows we’re dating.”</p><p>“Okay.” Bruce keeps his face neutral, speaking calmly. “Did he have a problem with that?”</p><p>Tim nods again. He’s starting to feel like a bobblehead. He chews his lips as he works up to the next thing he needs to say.</p><p>“He told me—” Tim swallows. “He told me there was no point in me being a guy if I was going to be gay.” He pulls at the sleeve of his hoodie. “That’s uh… not the word he used, though.”</p><p>Bruce takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. He’s angry, but he’s trying not to be. </p><p>“The word he used,” Bruce asks. “Does it start with an f?”</p><p>Tim looks off to the side. “Yeah,” he whispers.</p><p>Bruce takes another deep breath, and moves to sit beside Tim. He slowly wraps an arm around him, giving him enough time to pull away. Instead, Tim leans into his side.</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” Bruce says. Leaning his head down to rest on Tim’s. “He should never have said that.”</p><p>Tim sinks into the hug, wrapping his arms around Bruce’s waist. “It gets worse,” he mumbles. Bruce’s arms tighten, just a little.</p><p>“Worse how?” he asks.</p><p>“He told me to pack a bag and get out. I can’t—” Tim’s voice breaks. He squeezes his eyes shut and presses his face into Bruce’s chest. “I can’t go back.”</p><p>Bruce wraps his other arm around Tim, pulling him into a bear hug. He doesn’t do this often, but it never fails to make Tim feel safe. Like his early days of being Robin, hiding in Batman’s cape. </p><p>“You can stay here, Tim.” Bruce rocks him gently. “You can always stay here.”</p><p>Tim relaxes into the hug, and his bones settle. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You can find me on tumblr @merc--ury (main) or @transrobins (batfam/dc)</p><p>Please comment or leave a kudos if you liked this</p></blockquote></div></div>
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